The recession wedding
Couples are finding ways to cut costs for the big day
BY JENNIFER HAYES • SPECIAL TO THE NEWS JOURNAL • MAY 3, 2009
Jackie Scott and her fiancé, Mike Custodio, both of Bear, were surprised when about a third of their 163 invited wedding guests sent regrets.
Then two bridesmaids were forced to drop out of the wedding party, too, because they couldn't make the financial commitment to the May 9 ceremony.
Momentarily devastated, Scott says she and Custodio quickly came to grips with the realities of our recession-ridden times.
"We'd rather them be able to put food on the table than have one meal with us," she says.
Sarah Farnan, of Newark, who's getting married on Halloween, hasn't had the same wedding-planning drama. But because her fiancé, Tim Lewin, works at Avon's Newark plant, which is in the process of closing, the couple is trying to spend wisely because money could soon become an issue. Having already exceeded her $10,000 budget, Farnan has begun to cut back on expenses.
"No matter what happens between now and October," Farnan says, "I'm determined to have a wonderful, magical day with my soon-to-be hubby and all of our friends."
The exalted traditions of marriage have not been immune as the country reels in the wake of Wall Street failures and huge numbers of layoffs. Couples getting ready to walk down the aisle are trying now more than ever to get the most out of their matrimonial money.
Area wedding planners say they are seeing brides and grooms searching for ways to cut costs without diminishing the day.
The strain actually shows on the faces of brides, says Cortesa Coleman, event coordinator and owner of Endless Love Weddings, in Philadelphia, who serves a lot of Delaware brides.
"A lot of people are not doing the huge affairs they were in years past," Coleman says. "And if they are having a normal traditional wedding, they are trying to find out ways to save as much money as possible."
Kristin Mihok, owner of All About Weddings in Townsend, also has seen a sharp decline in wedding budgets in recent months. Where her brides had been spending between $20,000 and $30,000 before 2008, they are now spending between $8,000 and $20,000.
But it's possible to create an elegant wedding on any budget, she says.
"It doesn't really change the process, Mihok says. "It just takes a little more digging to find what you really want and what's important."
Spend, spend, spend
The recession may actually serve to correct a lot of the free-wheeling spending that's marked many weddings of the last two decades, says Maggie Daniels, associate professor of tourism and events management at George Mason University, in Virginia.
Daniels, who says she developed and taught the first course on wedding planning at a four-year university, points out that there has always been a consumption mentality when it comes to weddings. That tendency has been exaggerated by the media, particularly reality TV , she says.
"This whole idea of the picture-perfect wedding really just created this scenario and mindset in your modern bride," Daniels says. "And it took something pretty significant ... such as this current recession, to stop that momentum."
According to The Wedding Report, an Arizona research firm, the average wedding cost fell to $21,814 in 2008 from 2007's $28,000 -- a 22 percent decline. In the first quarter of 2009, spending dropped further, to $19,196, the firm reports.
Daniels, who is also a wedding consultant, says the decline in spending is a reflection of couples making more careful decisions.
Brides shouldn't feel bad about cutting costs, she says. In fact, it's excellent training for budgeting as a couple.
"Part of what has contributed to this economic decline is this lack of groundedness -- missing out on the reality of it all," Daniels says.
Scott agrees. She and Custodio have set aside part of their paychecks for the last 26 months to pay for their wedding next weekend.
She says that in their long engagement, they have tested themselves as a couple as they learned to budget and handle family relations. "We joked that it's a mini-marriage," Scott says.
Cutting elsewhere
Not all brides are cutting back.
Leanne Silicato, co-owner of Make My Day Events Planning, in Rehoboth Beach, says many of her clients, although more aware of their budgets than in the past, are still willing to spend extravagantly to create the wedding of their dreams.
"They cut back on other things," Silicato says. "They don't eat out as much or they get less expensive gifts for their friends to have a nice wedding."
Nasim Sadr agrees. She's getting the wedding she wanted when she marries Jarrod Fala on June 20 at Gibraltar in Wilmington. She's working with Donna Duffy of Memorable Milestones Event and Travel Planning in Wilmington. (Duffy and her partner, Pat Howes, have created a guide for brides on how to have an elegant wedding and still cut costs).
Sadr had planned from the start to do a lot of it herself.
"I like putting a stamp of myself on my wedding," she says. "I'm kind of a creative person anyway, so I like doing stuff DIY, but it does help with cost, also."
Wedding planners agree that do-it-yourself is one of the most popular ways to cut costs.
Both Scott and Farnan created the majority of their wedding stationery, including save-the-date cards, invitations, and programs. Scott even made the ring bearer's pillow and took advantage of weekly A.C. Moore coupons to do it as inexpensively as possible.
By doing things herself, Farnan says she saved between $2,000 and $3,000.
Brides can find help from lots of vendors, too, wedding planners say.
Silicato recommends negotiating with vendors. "With the situation we're in, vendors are a lot more willing to wheel and deal, or offer some sort of assistance, whether it be a straight-up discount or a longer payment plan," Silicato says.
And vendors are offering a lot of deals.
Gianmarco Martuscelli, owner of Chesapeake Inn Restaurant and Marina, in Chesapeake City, Md., offers 10 percent off any package on wedding dates for November through March. He and others also suggest brides consider a Friday night or Sunday afternoon wedding. Weddings those days are less expensive because there's less competition for the times.
"You're getting the same wedding almost for thousands less," Martuscelli says.
Baywood Greens, in Long Neck, also offers cheaper rates for Friday and Sunday events. And to save money at any wedding, Lauren Hanna, director of events at Baywood Greens, encourages clients not to overspend on elaborate linens when a venue provides them for free or far less.
Endless Love's Coleman also suggests brides trim things that aren't necessary, such as favors, which can add hundreds to thousands to a wedding bill, or unity candles, which can cost $50 each in a wedding store.
Money doesn't make a marriage, and more brides seem to recognize that.
Even with fewer guests and spending constraints, Scott, Farnan and Sadr all expect to enjoy magical wedding days. "You don't need everything," Scott says. "The most important thing is your groom, an officiate, the contract and witnesses.
"As long as you have that, the wedding's the day, the marriage is a lifetime."
WAYS TO SAVE
Area wedding planners offer brides a wide range of suggestions to save money. Here are some:
• Consider serving brunch instead of a dinner at the reception.
• Look for package deals, such as Chesapeake Inn's 10 percent discount on wedding from November through March.
• Consider marrying on Friday or Sunday; the events cost thousands less.
• Make it yourself. Handy brides can make invitations, place cards, favors and more for far less than it costs to buy them.
• Instead of renting a limo, rent a simple town car or have a family member with a nice car drive you to the ceremony and reception.
• Use local flowers that you can buy wholesale and create your own centerpieces and bouquets.
• Reuse flowers from the ceremony to decorate at the reception.
• To use fewer flowers, incorporate candles and other items in the centerpieces.
• Instead of hiring a photographer for a whole night, just have photos taken at and after the ceremony. Leave disposable cameras on the tables so your guests can take the rest of the pictures.
• Instead of a multi-layered cake, buy a smaller decorated cake for the bride and groom to cut and two sheet cakes. Cut the sheet cakes in the kitchen for your guests.
• Give smaller favors, such as pens or magnets with the bride and groom's names and wedding date, instead of expensive wine glasses. Consider a CD with the bride and groom's favorite romantic songs. Or give a donation in your guests' name to a charity that's meaningful to you as a couple.
• Instead of hiring a wedding planner with a comprehensive package, hire one for the month or day of the wedding. Coordinators provide valuable resources and relieve stress.
• Shop for wedding clothes and other necessities in the off-season. Clearance sales at craft stores after Christmas, New Year's, Valentines Day and Easter offer great discounts.
• Research. The Internet, with thousands of Web sites and ideas, can be a bride's best resource.
Sources: Cortessa Coleman, of Endless Love Weddings; Leanne Silicato, of Make My Day Events Planning; Kristin Mihok, of All About Events; and Donna Duffy, of Memorable Milestones Event and Travel Planning.
